Short fuse getting shorter (Part #2)

In May this year, I posted a blog entry about how, in the past couple of years, I have degenerated from a usually patient and tolerant person to one with a short fuse and bad temper. And this has been pointed out to me, not just by casual observers and acquaintances, but by the very people whom I hold dear to my heart.

It is one thing to have this trait being pointed out to me by the casual observer. But if my random outbursts and beginning to affect those around me, and worse, hurt those whom I love - none of whom bear even a minutiae of malicious intent in their words and actions, then it is time to stop and take stock of the situation.

It is my fervent hope, and a prayer that I cry out to the Heavens above, that those whom I have hurt from time to time with my random bursts of fury (often sudden, but short-lasting), do not see me as any less of the person that I am and can be. It is unfortunate that history and past events in my life have planted into me some undercurrents of rage, and a life of constant vendettas.

Until now, I have not yet found it within my heart to release that unrelenting iron grip called pride that binds me. But someone has come into my life. Someone who means so much to me. Someone who has given me a reason to turn all the pent-up fury into affection. Someone whom I would never want to hurt with my temper, but yet is one whom I have hurt with my temper. Someone whom I would never forgive myself for if I were to drive her away, all because of vengeful pride and fury - borne from my past, manifested in my present, and destroying all hope for a joyful future.

It's the Christmas season. It is a time to forgive and forget the past. It is a time to accept people and things for what they are. It is a time to to see love in all things, and in all its unusual and unexpected manifestations. It is a time to love, and allow ourselves to be loved. And even when this Christmas season passes by, Love should still remain.

Thought for today (and something I read many years ago): A child once asked the parish priest, "Padre, why can't people today see God like they did in days of old?" The priest answered, "Because, my child, people today cannot stoop so low." When love gives way to pride, we become blind.