Short fuse getting shorter

A close (and recently acquainted) friend commented that I have a bad temper. For those of you who have known me for years, you will probably find this observation strange.

Then again, it is true that of late, my fuse has shortened considerably. I have not reached the point of throwing loud tantrums yet, but I have, on occasion, raised my voice and resorted to rather abrasive (but not foul) language to vent my anger to the relevant parties.

The trend is getting alarming, because it is starting to affect even my own household. My mum avoids confrontational topics of conversation with me, and even my normally bad-tempered dad seems to be handling me more with care.

This is not boding well for my blood pressure, my signature easy-going nature... and my already-pathetic social life.

Streamyx sucks

So much for Malaysia's Cyberjaya, the Multimedia Super-Corridor, and all this talk about a vision to become a technology-savvy nation. A simple thing like Broadband Internet access, and we get f**ked-up service and f**king incompetent call centre staff.

For the past five consecutive nights, I have been getting "Error 691: Access was denied because the username and/or password was invalid on the domain. Check your password and then try again. The computer you are dialing in cannot establish a connection." Here's the same f**king telephone conversation I have had to endure for the past five f**king nights:

1. "Please press 1 for Malay, 2 for English" (yes, I pressed '1' - the buggers on the other end of the line refuse to speak English, anyway)
2. "Please press 1 for Streamyx, 2 for..."
3. "Please press 1 for... <go fill in the God-damned blanks yourself>
4. (Wait till Kingdom Come for the operator to finish manicuring her fingernails and answering the phone)
5. "Thank you for calling TMNet, how can I help you?"
6. "How do you spell your name again... sounds like Martian language to me"
7. "Can I verify your contact details, so we know you aren't some sick terrorist?"
8. "Oh, you've got that problem... hmmm...(and here go the same f**king standard questions straight out of some kindergarten chant book):
(a) Are you using a splitter?
(b) Do you hear static when using the telephone?
(c) Have you been f**king around with the password settings?
NO NO NO... for the f**king last time - NO!
9. Here's the capper... when I called tonight and told the **nice** lady on the other end of the line that she can save the cookbook questions, you know what she tells me? Hold you seat for this one:

"Oh... then I don't know how to solve your problem, lah."

10. Anyway, I got it figured out. "Session hanged". Just tell the dumb f**k on the other end of the line to just shut the f**k up, and delete the session. And stop chanting cookbook mantras to me. I've heard them so often, I could moonlight as a TMNet call centre operator after hours.

11. Oh, yes... the call centre operator tells me to go and change my password, just in case some some parasitic bastard has been leeching off my account. I ask her for the URL. She gives it to me. http://tmbill.tm.net.my. I try it out. Yup... you guessed it - I can't get in!

I think I'll migrate to Maxis.net.

Unaware of the concepy (Part #2)

Define man's ignorance about the female gender:

When he thinks that mascara and mask (you know... that weird stuff women apply to their faces to beautify it, and after applying it, they cannot talk or twitch their facial muscles, lest the mask 'cracks') are the same thing.

My Golden Retriever

Today's blog is dedicated to Trixie - my ultra-lovable Golden Retriever. Both a bundle of joy (those sad and droopy eyes, and how she always flips over to get a tummy massage whenever I approach her) and a holy terror at the same time (she eats everything - from slippers to electrical wires, no kidding!).

Not too many words this time. Just some nice pictures to melt your heart. :)

Trixie at 2 months old


(L-R): Rolling on my bed, exploring the WWW, and sleeping in her natural position

Trixie at 4 months old



More pictures as she gets a little older... stay tuned!

Learning Shanghainese

Another of my new linguistic escapades...

The Shanghainese dialect is a very interesting language. For a native Cantonese speaker who is accustomed to a rich array of consonant endings and a more 'musical' set of tones, learning this dialect can be quite disconcerting - both to the ears and the palatial muscles. All words can only end with a vowel, -ng or a glottal stop -q. But where it suffers in terms of a limited selection of endings, it more than makes up for it with a dazzling array of consonant beginnings, and its own unique array of tones - both long and short.

I now have in my collection, two out of the three books that form a set of learning texts for the Shanghainese dialect (the series is divided into "Basic", "Daily Use" and "Business"). All the books come with CD's, which I now play in my car to practise my listening skills - much to the disgruntlement of all those who have the misfortune of being my passengers over the next few weeks!

儂身體好伐? 倷飯吃過了伐? 謝謝儂! nung seng-thi hoa va? na ve chi ku le va? sha-sha nung! (How are you? Have you eaten yet? Thank you!)

Pull-ups and dips... back in action!

I am a true believer in Body Pump™ now.

Before I started classes, my pull-ups and dips were in the absolute doldrums. I was barely able to muscle out 7 pull-ups and 15 dips, reminiscence of my younger days. But after just four sessions, my pull-ups have shot back up to 13, and my dips have hit 30!

Now that I am back on a roll, I have reverted to my good old strength workout routine for rock-climbing, i.e. doing pull-ups and dips with added weights dangling from my feet (7kg for pull-ups and 20kg for dips). The way I figure it, if I keep this training routine up, I might just be able to break my 21st birthday record number of pull-ups, i.e. 23.

The downside is, my cardiovascular endurance is going down again. It was on an up-climb while I was still doing RPM classes regularly, so I think I better get back into it again. Thing is, nothing strikes more fear into my heart than that ghastly Track #5, where you are expected to do that insane 'stand-up-sit-down' thing during the chorus! Ugh, my burning ass...

Denial (逃避現實)

Denial can be a powerful state of mind. It cripples you, forcing you to see and hear what really is not there, throwing you into a whirlpool of one self-fulfilling prophecy after another.

While the rational side of your mind struggles to bring you to your senses, the state of denial clouds your better judgement, as you fight the uphill battle of trying to justify to yourself - and to those around you - the apparent rationality behind what is truly futile nonsense.

The mind knows it is wrong, but the heart soldiers on into the abyss. There is no hope for survival, or for even the faint sight of light at the end of a long corridor. And yet, the heart presses on.

In the distance a hand - the hand of the mind, of rationale - stretches forth to this intrepid sentimental fool, beckoning him to return to his senses. But another stronger hand pulls him away. It is the hand of the heart. It draws him further away from reality, taking him where the final, inevitable end is nothing but pain. Yet, he allows himself to be drawn to that end.

A painful end, no doubt. But that is the power of denial.

Tummy woes...

Warning: Not for the faint-hearted

Had to take a day of medical leave from work today, due to stomach problems. It started on Sunday (3 days ago), with what I thought was gastric pain. By Sunday evening after dinner, the pain was so bad that I could barely stand upright. It kind of subsided by Monday, so I figured everything was alright.

However, the respite was short-lived. By last night, the pain was so bad, and my belly so bloated with gas and crap. I tried relieving the pain by sitting on Her Majesty's throne, but nothing - not even the courtesy of some wind - came out. Finally, I had to force myself to vomit, just to release the pressure being built up in my belly, which was now rock-hard. Even had to chuck again an hour later.

It was only in the wee hours of dawn that diarrhoea finally set in. Four straight crapping sessions effectively relieved the excruciating pain that had kept me awake for most of the night. I really thought I was going to die of colon cancer. Anyway, I got some medication from my Dad this morning to fix things. As to why it took so long for the crap to be released, even he could not explain.

Wikipedia in Classical Chinese!

This is amazing. Wikipedia now comes in Classical Chinese (文言文)! (http://zh-classical.wikipedia.org/wiki/) The first step in restoring (what I consider to be) the only true written form of the Chinese language! And for the restoration of the East Asian nations' cross-border literacy.

Down with the imperialistic modern Mandarin vernacular! Long live Classical Chinese and the long-neglected and wrongfully-maligned dialects!

PS. As an aside, I wrote a forum thread on my views of the restoration of Classical Chinese at http://www.chinese-forums.com/showthread.php?t=11622

Barbara

I was doing my usual mindless web-surfing one night when, for some strange reason - like a bolt of lightning crossing my mind - I decided to do a Google search for a name that I had not heard of in a very long time. I found what I was looking for, and it most certainly brought back a lot of fond childhood memories.

Those of you who were born during the mid 1970's or earlier, and were fans of Cantonese television serials (particularly the period costume martial arts dramas) will definitely remember her - Barbara Yung Mei Ling 翁美玲. Yung was most famous for her role as Wong Yung 黃溶 in the television series rendition of Louis Cha's 金庸 novel "The Legend of the Condor Heroes" 射雕英雄傳, alongside the equally-famous Felix Wong Yat Wah 黃日華.

Although as a young teenager, I did not have the chance to watch "The Legend of the Condor Heroes" 射雕英雄傳, I did have the priviliege of watching Yung star in a modern television serial, "The Rough Ride" 挑戰, alongside a very young Tony Leung Chiu Wai 梁朝偉. I enjoyed the series a lot, for several reasons - for the cute storyline revolving around Leung's character having two fathers, the pantheon of veteran stars (Sam Lui Leung Wai 呂良偉, Barbara Chan Mun Yee 陳敏兒, Lau Dan 劉丹, Kwan Hoi San 關海山, etc.)... and for lovely Barbara Yung, whom I think did a great performance as the lady cop Tse Bik Wah 謝碧華.

And looking back at all the poster girls I have grown up with as a child and teenager over the years, I have to say that Barbara Yung stands right there at the top.

Of course, those of you who grew up watching and admiring Barbara Yung, also know that she died of gas poisoning in her apartment, allegedly by suicide due to a broken heart, in 1985, at a tender age of only 26. One can only speculate how this giant of a lady, standing only 5'2" but truly a lovely angel, would have evolved in her career that spanned only a few years in the early 1980's... and can only lament that she did not stay on with us.

In the process of searching for information regarding "The Rough Ride" 挑戰, I found several audio clippings of the original theme song "我與你, 他與我" (translated loosely as "Me and You, Him and Me"), sung by the late Anita Mui Yim Fong 梅艷芳 (one of them included the video of opening credits for the series: http://www.spcnet.tv/cgi-bin/band/downloader.cgi?site=1&filename=roughride.ram). After a couple of deft file manipulations (those of you know know me well, can testify that my data and information gathering skills know no bounds!), I managed to acquire a very clear MP3 copy of the song. I really cannot think of a better voice that could have captured the spirit and sadness that the song conveys.

Now, call me a hopeless romantic (which, I will shamelessly admit I am!), but I found that the melancholic song, intertwined with Barbara's forlorn look, makes for a potent combination. Such a coincidence that both the lead actress of the series and the singer of the theme song, are no longer with us.

http://www.yungmeiling.com/

Looks like the CD box set of "The Rough Ride" 挑戰 is on my shopping list!

* * * * * * * * * *

This weblog entry is dedicated to these two giants of the Hong Kong entertainment scene - Barbara Yung and Anita Mui... and to their fans all around the world.

Autism surfacing?

The acute lack of social interaction my my life in recent years is starting to take its toll on my oral communication and overall social skills. Here are some examples which clearly warrant sounding the alarm bells for remedial action:

1. I find myself constantly unable to keep up with group conversations, even when the "group" really comprises of only three persons. A close friend actually caught me 'zoning out' on several occasions - for which I sincerely apologise.
2. I have my manager deriding me for my propensity to write long e-mails instead of just picking up the telephone and talking. I gravitate towards 'memo culture' simply because I find that I am able to arrange my thoughts more coherently, rather than off-the-cuff and disorganised sentences
   
3. My China supplier has started finding my Mandarin accent awkward and incomprehensible, and has politely suggested that all future communications be done via e-mail (in Chinese, of course). The irony is, I have actually preferred that arrangement since Day #1, as I am not fluent in the spoken language at all.
4. My Chinese reading skills have improved significantly, but my pronunciation has not moved a dent. In other words, the characters are degenerating into nothing more than hieroglyphs in my mind.
   
5. I find instrumental music more alluring than those with lyrics.
6. I am no longer able to sustain small talk with total strangers for more than 10 minutes, often finding my eyes darting around for more amusing distractions - unless the topic of conversation is something I can truly relate to.
   

Perhaps somewhere in the deep recesses of my brain is an autistic gene that has been lying dormant for years, just waiting to creep out at the moment I am entering mid-life crisis.

The unsung heroes of music

This morning, I was listening to Rod Steward's rendition of Sammy Cahn and Jule Styne's 1947 classic "Time After Time" (from Stewart's album "The Great American Songbook Vol. 2". It's a beautiful version of a timeless classic that has also become a jazz standard.

While Stewart's crooning voice was certainly a nice touch to the song, what actually intrigued me today was the accompanying background instrumental music - the piano, the percussions and the saxophone.

If you have a chance to listen to this wonderful version of a real timeless classic (on auto-replay!), then just for a moment (and no disrespect meant to Rod Stewart here!), block out the singer's voice and just concentrate on the background music itself. No, you will not hear the principal melody itself; but what you will hear are the complementary harmonics. Savour the delicate notes of the piano interspersed between the verses, and feel how they mesh so well with the principal melody.

Another beautiful example of a song with beautiful background piano accompaniment - and one that I have grown to love - is Kenny G's version of Duke Ellington's "In A Sentimental Mood". Again, try blocking out the saxophone in your head, and concentrate on Randy Waldman's delicate fingers on the piano.

* * * * * * * * * *

This weblog entry is dedicated to those musicians in the background of the singers' voices - the unsung heroes whose music is "often more felt than heard" (Joe Goldberg, taken from the liner notes of Bill Evans' album "Moonbeams"), but without them, those beautiful melodies would sound so empty and lonely.

A time for freedom and solitude

Have you ever been in that stage of your life where you feel so stifled, where you feel as if you have no freedom, that day after day your life is being controlled, that your whole identity and individuality has been taken from you, and that you are no longer free to do things you want to do and go places you want to go... without having to report to others and be accountable to them - even though it's none of their concern?

A couple of words from someone close to me reminded me - once again - of how I once had some semblance of that freedom. And it made me angry at that person.

I am tired of having to report to people on what I do everyday, as if I might fall into some manhole on the road anytime. I am tired of people being overly-concerned about my welfare, and having to guide me on every God-forsaken path as if I am some helpless invalid without eyes, ears or a brain. I am tired of people who do not understand the concept of privacy, and never seem to know how to knock on doors before entering. I am tired of people misconstruing my occasional comic buffoonery for sheer idiocy, not being able to use what little brain power they have to be able to differentiate between humour and stupidity.

By all means, lend me a helping hand when I plead for it. But when the overdose of concern and attention goes beyond that line where it is neither helpful nor appreciated, kindly respect my need for individuality and leave me alone. At 32 years of age, a good set of limbs, a functioning brain and 17 years of my life spent in school, I think it is fair to assume that I will not walk off some cliff like some mindless lemming.

There - I think I have successfully earned my place in the non-gratia list of some of my beloved friends and readers. If reading it offends you so, then go play somewhere else, where you do not have to face such a spiteful brat.

My rant for the day. I think I'm done. Good night.

Mini bath and cosmetics time...

It has been 7 years since I bought my Mini, and 4 years since I had it restored and re-painted. Since I brought it back from Penang to KL in early-2005, the poor car has been sort of neglected. It had not had a proper wash, and had never been polished before.

So this weekend, I decided it was time to give it a good scrubbing and waxing. It has been so long since I last washed and polished a car on my own, I had totally forgotten how long it takes, and how much energy it saps!

It was a 4-hour labour of love for me, and the end result was simply to die for. It has been a long time since I last could see my own reflection on the car body. Makes me so proud to own a Mini.

Paralysed by dependence on IT...

The recent snag in the regional Internet access due to the earthquake in Taiwan, and the resultant gripes in the newspapers by the local bloggers about being crippled, has showed us all one thing - we are becoming too dependent on Information Technology. We become so helpless and paralysed when we lose Internet access or our mobile phones for anything more than 24 hours. And to think that only 2 decades ago, we had neither of the two technologies to survive.

I think, in the name of survival of the species (lest we become slaves to the technologies we created), just for a month and just to let our old-time survival skills kick back in, we should all return to the old ways to doing things, i.e.:

1. Use the abacus for calculations
2. Keep company accounts on hand-written ledgers
3. Learn Morse code and the use of the telegram
4. Start learning how to write again (instead of using the PC keyboard)!
5. While we're on the topic of typing, use the mechanical typewriter and carbon paper
6. Use manual SLR cameras
7. Revert to good ol' mechanical watches and pendulum clocks

I think I belong to the wrong century...

Secret Garden

During my long-delayed annual house-keeping of my room, I unearthed this 2-CD album that I bought at a discount from Popular Bookstore in Ikano Power Centre (actually, that was the only reason I bought it). It's a compilation of songs by the Norwegian group "Secret Garden".

Now, I am not normally fond of New Age music, especially the saccharine-sweet type. But the first two tracks - "Song from A Secret Garden" and "Nocturne" - really blew me away to Neverland. They really send you faraway to some secret garden in some fantasy world.

So far, it's just these two tracks that I like. I'm not too keen on "You Raise Me Up". I guess I am just not into Il Divo. And it's also partly because the tune is less dreamy than the first two afore-mentioned tracks.

It's my first day back at the office this year, and I now have these two tracks on auto-replay, as I listen to them on my earphones to try and drive myself back into work mood (which is difficult, given the dreamy nature of the music!).

Happy New Year.

To Penang

Am writing this weblog entry from Penang Island – my backyard and home for six years of my professional life. It was a four-day vacation back to simple and familiar sights and sounds, a chance to escape from Kuala Lumpur for a while.

The traditional gastronomical tour was, of course, mandatory…

Char koay-teow 炒粿條 at the famous Burmah Road coffee shop (still the best!). Note the glass of heng-jin peng 杏仁冰 (iced almond juice) - you can't get it in KL coffee shops!

Quee Mei eating cendol at the Keng Kwee Street coffee shop

Drinking fresh pandan coconut juice at Aboo Siti Lane

Gu-bak koay-teow 牛肉粿條 (beef noodles) at the Beach Street corner coffee shop

Ark-bak kuey-chap 鴨肉粿雜 (duck innards noodles) in Ayer Itam

Frankly, the char koay-teow diet was a bit of an overload, as I had it for three days in a row!

The only disappointment was that Sar Chew Restaurant 沙舟餐室, my favourite Nyonya-style keng-chae pnui 經濟飯 (economy rice) shop in Cantonment Road has now been turned into a roast duck rice shop. They used to serve lovely chicken curry and otak-otak, which goes so well with rice.

Ending a vacation in Penang with a nett increase in calories was not acceptable, so a hike up Penang Hill (via the traditional Moon Gate route) was scheduled in with my ex-housemates. Having not hiked up for years, it was expected that I could not complete the hike to the summit within less than two hours as before. Was quite happy to settle for a 2hr:20min timing… not bad for a guy who weighs 0.1 metric tons! The weather was unusually good at the summit – cool air and nice breeze – probably because we arrived early (before 10am).


Along the Moon Gate trail

The Grace Deu mansion, close to the summit


Ice kacang 紅豆霜 at the summit

View from the summit, with Georgetown and the Penang Bridge in the backdrop

I really miss the convenience of having a hill so accessible for regular hikes… which is, of course, a lame excuse, since a drive from my house to Gasing Hill is not really that far away.

And had I known that my trip up here would coincide with a huge Mini convoy at Penang Island's Gurney Plaza, I would have driven my Mini-Cooper up this time round!

Bok House - End of an era

And so it goes... the famous Bok House - that grand old mansion built by millionaire Chua Cheng Bok in 1929, has been demolished in the name of development. If such a grand monument, and surely one that qualifies many times over as a heritage building, can be destroyed, one need only venture a simple guess as to the fate of the lesser-known historical buildings in and around Kuala Lumpur, and the rest of the country.

To me, the use of the 'definition of a heritage site' is a lame excuse for the monument's destruction. Let us be totally honest about this - it is all about whether the powers that be really want to protect it or not. I think we know what the answer is.

And the other excuse - financial - is even more laughable. We can spend untold sums of money building giant artificial flowers and birds in an effort to 'beautify' our country, yet we cannot afford to upkeep an existing and real historical and cultural heritage.

I weep for the historical states of Penang and Malacca. Even as we boast about the large number of pre-war and historical buildings still extant in these two historical enclaves, they are sytematically being eaten up by these vultures of so-called development.

To those in power, here is my message: Please stop boasting to our foreign tourists about having historical and cultural sites in our country on one hand, while on the other hand you allow them to be destroyed. If your ultimate agenda is to have whatever that is left of history in the country to be annihilated, then kindly keep your mouths shut, lest you be accused of double standards and hypocrisy.

The two most beautiful equations in mathematics

This goes out to all of you mathematicians - academic, professional, amateurs or aspiring wannabes. Can you name the most beautiful equation(s) you have ever encountered?

Here are my two (2) votes:

Euler's equation:


Lagrange's equation:


Next question: Why did I choose them?

Euler's equation provides the link between three areas of mathematics: complex numbers, trigonometric functions and the exponential function. Amongst many other applications, this has provided us with the key to solving 2nd order differential equations. And in the specific case of



we obtain the equation that links the five major constants in mathematics:



Lagrange's equation successfully reduced Newtonian mechanics from graphical to purely analytical. While credit for pioneering analytical mechanics is due to Euler, the true champion is Lagrange. Lagrange's equation eliminated the need for an inertial axes of reference.

My first attempt at Sudoku

What a great way to spend a Saturday night in the company of close friends... sitting at the table together, pounding our heads over a stack of Sudoku puzzles. Well, a stack for them, anyway; for me, one puzzle was enough. And since it was my first ever attempt at it, you can imagine my frustration.


Head pounding

Needless to say, I did not succeed in completing my first puzzle. Part of me is convinced that there is a flaw in the puzzle I was attempting, that it was indeterminate (for those of you who are not mathematically-savvy, go look up that word in the dictionary yourself!), but the reality is, I probably ain't as good with numbers as I would like to think (how I muddled my way through engineering school is fast becoming a miracle).


Doodling and swearing

I think I'll stick to calculus and algebra.